Darling, I Am Here For You

Mixed media on wood panel
12 x 24 inches
2017

This work was created for Hungry Ghosts, an exhibition curated by Cynthia Tom and Maggie Yee. Hungry Ghosts are metaphors for familial and personal patterns of belief systems that hold us back from self actualization to our fullest potential.

Darling, I Am Here for You explores the fractures and reconciliations in mother daughter relationships through the lens of a South Korean immigrant woman. When I took a deep dive into my family history and belief patterns, I became aware of the generational impact of trauma from violence, the Japanese occupation, mental illness, addiction and oppression on the women in my lineage. A common coping mechanism for survivors of trauma is dissociation, where one escapes the present terrifying moment by mentally disengaging oneself. When one is not connected with oneself, it is impossible to be present for another. My Hungry Ghost, as a daughter, was a sense of disconnection from my mother. And the same Hungry Ghost haunts me as a mother to my daughter. Grounded in my faith and trust in a loving divine power (the starry night sky), self-exploration (the mirror) was possible to start the process of healing the emotional wounds of the past but the scars remain. The broken pot (handmade Korean paper, hanji) with the gold leaf cracks symbolizes healing of relationships and is inspired by the Japanese art of kintsugi or “golden joinery” which is the craft of mending broken pieces of ceramics with lacquer mixed with gold, silver or platinum. The kintsugi method conveys a concept of restoration and recognition of the history and beauty in broken things. I honor my grandmother, mother, and daughter by being present and express my being connected with them with the words, “Darling, I Am Here for You.” Resilience and reconciliation are now a part of who I am.